Rolf Harris

Alright me Beauties – Bet you thought I had snuffed it been such a long time eh?

Well the reason is, I just ’aint had time to put the old paws on the keyboard , just too much going on trying to entertain Rhea all the time !!

To be honest, not too much has happened – life just ticks you by …………. now the most momentous thing that has happened is that I went for walk the other day and came across this tuft of grass and before you know, I was standing on three legs peeing on it ……… It is the first time I have done that – In the words of the old fella “Cocked my leg” – After a year of squatting like a girly, enough was enough and now, the Higher is Better and I can’t stop doing it  …….. I go here and I go there, I go everywhere, I spend so much time cocking me leg, I am like bloody Rolf Harris doing Jake The Peg !! – Still got a bit of work on the old technique before I get as good as this Pug though !!

We are going to somewhere called CRUFTS tomorrow at the NEC in Birmingham – cor blimey !! – I have heard they moan a lot from there – well if Chris is anything to go by – YEP there right !! – What's the difference between a Brummie and Jumbo Jet – The Jumbo stops whining when it gets to Malaga ……………

Anyway – CRUFTS …….. apparently, we are going to yet another flamin’ dog show but this one is special one, and people come from all over the World and there are going to be 21, 500 dogs there ….. 21,500, I will wear my bloody nose out sniffing all those backsides. Even the telly lot are going to be there …. make sure you get my best side lovey darling!!. We are going for three days and stopping in the motorhome – DO THEY REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE LET THEMSELVES IN FOR – Can you imagine what it’s going to be like with Rhea and me giving it large and Mr & Mrs Happy in that small space ……. As it is a special show, I have had to have a bath and …… yes you’ve guessed it, they have put my Brian Conelly, Dangerous Brian coat on again – Of course I don’t look a complete dick head do I – quite why I can’t have a curly coat – who knows.

Victor was getting the van ready for our epic maiden sailing with all four of us in there, and he decided to flush the water system through because it has been stood for a while and we didn’t want to get dysentery in that small space. He put the water tap on and so much water came out from under the units, it nearly filled it up – it poured into the van. We were going to take it back to Exeter for the professionals to fix …. but no, Victor insisted on doing it to save on the petrol money …… little did he realise, half the motorhome had to be taken apart to get to the nut which undid the tap !! – The fridge had to come out, the metal cowl it fits in, the outside vents had to be removed and then eventually, it turned out to be a tiny piece of plastic broken, so, off he goes to the plumb centre – “no mate, we don't sell anything like that” – He had to drive 50 miles to go to a caravan supply shop to get the £3.76 pipe and then only took a couple of hours to fit …….. in fact he worked with superhuman speed and it only took a day and a half to sort it out – Too tight to spend the petrol money to go to Exeter !!!

Right, I am going to get my head down as I have got to get my beauty sleep – so – will let you know how I get on ……..

Take Care – Cody